Monsters!

A few years ago I bought a reissue of my favorite Sesame Street album on CD. I was so excited, having lost the LP long before, to listen once again to Grover glorify his meager, yet narcissistic independence in the hit single, “I, Grover;” and to follow Harry Monster into the depths of despair as he laments how his physical clumsiness has branded him a sociopath in “I Just Can’t Help It.” And then there’s the vaudeville-esque “Fur,” a tribute to hirsuitism - always gets the toes a’ tappin’. But I was dismayed to discover that my very favorite song was missing.

“I Want a Monster to Be My Friend” is a vocal masterpiece belted out by the usually timid Prairie Dawn. Backed by an alto sax and male vocals, Prairie Dawn lets it out - she wants a monster for a playmate, someone who won’t be afraid to play rough - who won’t treat her like a little girl. It’s an awesome song, and, in the album’s original release, so popular that it was the noted single on subsequent album covers. But then, for some reason, it was pulled from the album’s re-release and replaced with a sweet, but unimpressive, ballad to mommies sung by Harry Monster.

I have not been able to confirm why “I Want a Monster to Be My Friend” was pulled, but a reliable source (unknown YouTube user) claims the song and it’s video were banned, due to the song’s racy implications. I could go into detail, but this straightforward, if inelegant, explanation will do just fine:
  “No see you just say penis whenever she says monster and then you’ll see why it’s dirty because she wants a penis.”
By that logic, ‘Rubber Ducky’ is the lewdest song ever written (cause, see, you just say penis whenever he says duckie and you’ll see... oh, nevermind).

I don't have concrete proof that the song was banned, but I find it’s exclusion from the album’s reissue troubling for other reasons. It was the only song on the album sung by a female (or a human, for that matter. You see that little boy on the cover? I’ve been wondering who that is for years). It was the only song on the album that in any way referred to a non-mommy female. This makes it’s replacement, “That Furry Blue Mommy of Mine,” even more annoying.

I’m perpetually irritated by the assumption that casting females exclusively as mothers is not sexualizing them, especially when contrasted with what is a great example of a young girl's challenge to gender stereotypes . The only way to get sexual implications from Prairie Dawn’s performance is to deliberately put them there, as in the Rubber Duckie example (though, truth be told, I may never be able to sing about my little fella who’s cute and yellow and chubby without sniggering ever again). The song is soulful, Prairie Dawn’s performance is empowered, and in the end it’s about a girl who doesn’t want to settle for the usual girl stuff. Every little girl should express herself this boldly.



As if shunning Prairie Dawn in the reissue of Monsters! isn’t bad enough, I’ve since learned that the song was not totally scrapped by Sesame Street. Long before I started having kids, and I didn’t know the difference between Elmo and Emo, En Vogue covered the song for Elmopalooza! While I disagree that there should be objections to the original, I can only hope the new version got some people fired.



Clearly, in this instance, the execs at Sesame Street got over whatever concern they may have had about over-sexualizing little girls. En Vogue takes what was a wonderful, jazzy song about wanting a playmate and turns it into something more akin to a strip club act. Note that two out of the three vocalist are wearing pigtails. Note the batting eyelashes, the coy glances, the overexposure of the tongue while singing. While sexual overtones in the original version could be derived only by an idiot, En Vogue’s version simply hands it to us in pink, fluffy handcuffs. What was strong and empowered is now weak and inferior; the implication that this is somehow more acceptable - more wholesome - makes me despair on the influence of Sesame Street altogether. I wish I’d caught this when it was relevant - it would have gone straight to the top of my ‘letters I’m going to say I’ll write and then probably not ever get around to’ list. For now this posting will have to do.

Now see if you go back and read this again and put ‘penis’ wherever I write ‘the’ you’ll see it’s dirty because you’ll be thinking penis a lot.